Later I learned that my roommate had said “my father apologizes.” But as I dozed on the couch, barely aware that she was talking on the phone with someone, I thought she said “my father Apollo-Jesus,” which led to some misunderstandings over the subsequent months. I made some shrines, did some light stalking, and founded a cult that was a registered §501(c)(3) non-profit organization. I performed some human sacrifices, which involved a lot of planning and a lot of 6-mil plastic sheeting. I set my roommate on fire to prove a point, and it was after that, in the burn unit of Hancock Memorial, that she told me what she had actually said. I was super embarrassed.